Scared

The last 24 hours, basically since I got my blood results back, I have been soooo scared I will have another miscarriage. There is no reason for me to believe that anything will happen with this pregnancy. I have had no spotting, no cramps, my HCG level is in the median of where it should be... But I am sooo afraid my numbers won't double approprietly and that we won't see a baby or a heartbeat when we go in for our ultrasound. Right now I am just so scared that things won't work out again. I still have the same chances of miscarrying as I did before. 25%.

However, according to a website I found "In fact, approximately 5% of couples experience two miscarriages in a row, while about 3% of couples experience three miscarriages in a row. Less than 2% of couples experience more than 3 consecutive miscarriages."

And according to another website "Among women who already know that they are pregnant, about 15% will miscarry, usually between the sixth and twelfth weeks of pregnancy, according to statistics from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) in Bethesda, Md. In addition, about 1% to 2% of women in the United States will have a repeat miscarriage for many reasons — some of which are unknown. On the other hand, having a miscarriage — or multiple miscarriages — doesn’t mean you can’t have a child. Close to 90% of women who’ve had one miscarriage go on to have successful pregnancies."

Can you tell, I like statistics. I am just so nervous and I really want my blood work results before the end of the week. Once I know they doubled nicely, maybe I can relax a little. But the big test will be if (ok, WHEN) we see a heartbeat. I know I just need to keep the mantras in mind. In particular:

--"My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c."
--"Just because something sad is happening to another poster, does not mean it will happen to you." We all know m/c and complications are not contagious!
--And this is the hardest one: "There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if (gods forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive."

So if anybody out there in Blog land is a prayer, please pray that this pregnancy sticks and that my beta's will double and we will be able to see a healthy baby with a healthy heartbeat when we have our first ultrasound.