2 under 2 for 2

Well, my body had some issues again this month. It's called it ovulated freaking EARLY! Earlier then it has EVER ovulated... even pre-birth control pills in High School early. Early means I was late. Late means I took a test yesterday and the test means... it was POSITIVE! Yep, I am pregnant! Kaylin is going to be a big sister.

I went in for bloodwork today and should get the results back early next week. Then I should go back next Friday for another set of bloodwork. from there the Dr will look at my chart and see when he wants to see me. I can say the panic has all ready started to set in today. Worried that I will miscarry again :( Worry that I will go in and not see a beating heart. I don't know if I can go through that again. This sucks. I hate worrying.

Not to mention, I finally made an appointment with my primary care Dr to get all my moles checked out. My dad had a melanoma when I was about 5 years old and all my adult life have been paranoid about getting skin cancer. So now I have an appointment and worry that the Dr will tell me he can't do anything for me now that I am pregnant. OR he will biopsy a few and they will come back as cancer. I just hope to GOD that if he does find something that it was caught early and has not spread. That and I worry that they will find something and tell me I have to abort the pregnancy. I don't think I could handle that, but then I couldn't handle knowing I had cancer and could die anyway. I just have to hope for the best and hope that he doesn't find anything concerning and if he does, that it comes back benign. I just worry too much. I hate worrying and I know I get WAY ahead of myself. I think the worst and don't even know if the Dr will find anything concerning to begin with.

So in the meantime I need to post the SAL mantras again.

The SAL Mantras

--"Today I am pregnant and I love my baby."

--"I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise."

--"My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c."

--"Just because something sad is happening to another poster, does not mean it will happen to you." We all know m/c and complications are not contagious!

-- "Hope does not make bad things happen" You cannot ‘jinx’ your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!

--And this is the hardest one: "There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if (gods forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive."

Oh, and the important part... I should be due the middle of April. Around April 18rd by my probably calculations. And the bloat this time is CRAZY! I soooo did not bloat this bad this early with Kaylin. Even my husband noticed today. It is crazy... I just hope I can hide it for a little while. From work and from some friends.