ttc

We had some ups and down's on when to actually try for #3 and it turns out, July was the month we actually started.  Problem is, I am a psycho!  Temping, opk's, checking cm.  Symptom analyzer...  lost sleep over it.

First month was a bust, and Af arrived.  We had bad timing, so I knew it would be a long shot, but I think I am more disappointing than I am letting myself believe.  Seeing the positive test posts on my message board actually started to piss me off and I have just felt weepy and emotional the last 5-7 days.  Very unlike me.  For my own sanity, I hope this doesn't take long.  I can't keep loosing sleep over this and being over vigilant about symptoms and stressing myself out. I am already saying to myself that if I am not pregnant by the 1st of the year, maybe we should stop and be happy with 2.  I put too much pressure on myself and plan too much and after my mirena, I have to learn a whole new body.  So much of my fertility has changed.  Some in a good way, some in a stressful way. 

Really, I just feel like crying.