I just have this fear of dying early and leaving my girls and my husband behind. I am sure I have mentioned this on here before. Just been thinking about it more the last few days. I read a blog about a 4 year old who passed away from cancer. Some of the things her mom wrote just broke my heart. It's soooo sad, I just couldn't imagine not being able to take my babies pain away. It particularly hits home because she was diagnosed when she was Hannah's age and passed at Kaylin's age.
Tonight we were watching a movie where the mom got sick and passed away, leaving her husband and 2 kids, a 5 yo and 13 yo. I can't stand the thought of leaving them behind. How they would feel and me missing such important things in their lives. Not to mentionI saw an article about Ovarian Cancer on Facebook tonight. It's scary stuff, and I have been having "issues" down there the last year. Mainly from my mirena and child birth related things, but I have had issues and issues just scare me. Thankfully, I had an u/s done earlier late last year/earlier this year so all looked ok at that point. And I have a mole check at the end of the month, but I always can't help worrying I have skin cancer and fearing my moles are changing. My dad had it, so it IS something that runs in my family.
I wish I wasn't so scared of death and my kids dying or me dying. I always hope and pray we all, my, my husband, both our girls and our dog, live long and healthy lives. I just have to put faith in God that he will listen to my prayers. Which brings me back to the theme of the last few years. I have to believe.
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