The Pain

I was looking through old photos to put in an album for my parents and came upon those 6 months worth of pictures while I was pregnant with Jordan and after my miscarriage before I got pregnant with Kaylin. I see those picture and all I see is pain. I see the smiling faces of me and my friends, but it means nothing. It was all fake. It was a fake smile, it was fake happiness, and now when I look at those pictures all I remember is the pain I felt. I specifically remember a party we were at and writing a blog post how that party was the first time in 4 months I was able to "forget" my miscarriage and actually let myself have a good time. Yet, I still see pictures before and after that where I remember thinking I should be pregnant or I "thought" I was 8 weeks when I had in fact lost the baby all ready. I just see the pain.