On my mind

There has been so much on my mind lately.

Let me start off by saying I weaned Hannah. her last boob was 4/24. 3 weeks later I was getting out of the shower when she woke up, so walked into her room naked. It broke my heart when she leaned over to nurse :( I feel like I'm depriving her. Though she took to her sippy and chugged right after that. I think I am having a harder time transitioning than she is. But I know it's best. She doesn't need me anymore. She can drink regular milk and eat food and we still get our bedtime snuggles. Not to mention, I think my hormones are a little screwy. There have been times in the last few weeks I just feel emotional for no reason.

Add to all that and my daycare lady has been on bedrest for the last 3 weeks, set to be induced tomorrow, so I am running raged finding alternate care for the girls when her husband won't be home. Worry about how much help she will get after the baby's born as well, takes it's toll. On top of all that, 2 weeks ago my cousins baby was born 5 weeks early due to placenta abruption. She was low/with out oxygen for a period of time and sustained brain damage that would have left her in a vegitative state. They opted to take her off life support this morning and she passed around 1:45 EST. It almost seams like for every 2 babies that I know who are born healthy, I hear of somebody who lost theirs. 3 babies in the last 14 months. Around 10 babies born healthy in the last 17 months. I am so sick of hearing about pregnancy/infant loss. It's just not right :(