Well, I rang the new years in in labor & delivery this year. NOT how I wanted to spend my new years :( The story in short was I wound up having contractions 2-4 min apart and the Dr advised me to go in. Thankfully my cervix had no changes, my bloodwork and urinalysis came back normal and my FFN test came back negative. So really there is no explanation for the contractions. I got a shot of terb to stop them, which worked well. I did have a through break through the shot but not nearly to the extent of what it was before. After Hannah (yes, we picked a name) gave us a run for our money trying to get her heartrate on the monitor for 20 minutes we were sent home with some pills to take as needed for contractions. I had a few this morning and noticed the more I exerted myself and the fuller my bladder was the more I had. around 3pm they started coming at 2min apart again so i took a pill. The pill worked and they were no longer regular. I still would have a few if I really over exerted myself or my bladder was too full.
Can I just say this sucks. I can feel my anxiety bubbling below the surface and I hate feeling that way. I wonder if me over exerting myself could have caused this, likely not, but I'm a mom and it's my job to feel guilty. I knew I was trying to do to much but I have a hard time just sitting still when there is stuff to do and I am not a patient person so have wound up lifting things that I shouldn't have. I also feel guilty that I can't give Kaylin the attention she wants. Daddy had to lift her on the couch to get to me and has had to change her and pit her in and out of her high chair and put her to bed. I guess when I internally complain to myself that daddy will sit on his butt and I do much more of caring for Kaylin, that deep down I really enjoy it. Not to mention I am worried about Hannah and God forbid if she comes early. I don't think my anxiety could handle a preemie in the nicu. I REALLY don't want to be put on bed rest, because A) I have a hard time just sitting, not doing anything and B) we really cannot afford for me to be out of work, even with my craptastic disability. I obviously would if I had to but I could also see myself having way too much time to worry. Which would cause an increase in my anxiety. And I do have to say my anxiety was doing sooo well and I was being optimistic it wouldn't be as bad after this birth as it was after Kaylin, but if this continues I think it will be and if not worse. I REALLY don't want it to be worse. I HATE the way it makes me feel. I hate anxiety. And I hate that I am having these contractions. I really hope they ease up and go away until the real deal in April. I am going to call my dr on Monday to talk to him and see if I need to be seen. It makes me nervous I had to take a pill and it makes me nervous that I still had some contractions even after taking the medicine. I just hope and pray that everything turns out ok and that Hannah is born healthy and full term.
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